I was very touched by this diary by an Army wife. I am including it here in the hopes you will reach out to the organizations who help them. Open Letter to the American People
Dear America,
Thank you all for your thanks, your well-wishes, your flag waving
and your yellow ribbons. It is appreciated. We don't do this for
praise, or thanks, or any kind of public attention but believe me a
well-timed "thank you for your sacrifices" is a lifeline for a military
spouse who is struggling.
But we need more from you than applause and yellow ribbons.
After
our spouses come home, and I mean the hour that they come home, our
whole world changes. Again. When they leave we put on our brave faces
and our best outfits and send them off smiling so that the last image
they have of us isn't our tears. Then we go home to an empty house, an
empty bed, and the enormous weight of carrying all the responsibilities
of parenting, managing a household, and living on our own. In addition
we have to bear the burden of knowing the spouse we love is always in
imminent danger.
There is no way to describe to you what it's like to live with the
anxiety of knowing that any moment you could find out that your spouse
isn't coming home, or is coming home with debilitating injuries. There
are no words to tell you how military spouses survive going weeks,
sometimes months, without hearing from their spouses. We don't know
ourselves. We just do it, because it needs to be done and it's part of
our lives.
When that spouse comes home our worlds get thrown asunder again.
After the flags stop waving, after the applause and the well wishes
stop there is the reality of getting to know someone that is
essentially a stranger and making room in your life for a partner after
bearing all the responsibility for a year or more. Living with a
soldier who is suffering from Combat Stress or PTSD, or who has
physical injuries that require a lot of care is more difficult than you
can imagine, and the stress of that is ripping military families apart
every day.
Soldiers don't understand what's happening to them when
they come home. Wives and spouses are confused, hurt, and isolated.
Suicide, homicide, domestic abuse, depression, alcohol and drug abuse
rates among military families are skyrocketing.
The Army is trying to meet the needs of soldiers and their families
but just can't provide the kind of support that soldiers and their
families need. The average wait time for counseling for the children of
soldiers is a whopping eight months. Soldiers are waiting months for
routine care and even care for injuries received in combat.
My own
husband has been back for six months and has not received any treatment
for his TBI, despite the fact that we have a dedicated TBI clinic at
the post he is stationed at.
In order to survive the deployment cycle intact military families
need you.
Regardless of political affiliation, regardless of how you
feel about the wars military families need and deserve your support.
There are stereotypes about military families on both sides of the
political aisle but you need to put those aside. We are America
citizens. Our loved ones are fighting and dying to protect this country
and our way of life. We need your help. Shouldn't that be all that
matters?
One of the things that I love about this country is the willingness
of the American people to jump in and help people who are in crisis.
After 9/11, after Hurricane Katrina people all over the country
regardless of political affiliation put their lives on hold to help
others. Before the rains subsided there were buses on the way to New
Orleans with food, water, clothing and volunteers to help those in
trouble.
Well America - military families are drowning and we need your
help.
There are two distinct things that you can do to help us. One way is
by getting more active in the legislative process. Get involved. Call
and write your representatives to ask them to support legislation that
will provide help and support for soldiers and their families. There is
legislation out there that can help soldiers and military families but
without your support it won't get passed and we will continue to suffer.
The other way that you can help is to volunteer. I know you can do
it. I saw millions of people pull together and unite under President
Obama's banner of Hope. I was one of them. Now I'm asking you to
support soldiers and military families who are willing to make the
ultimate sacrifice for you. Volunteer for organizations that provide
desperately needed material support, counseling, and other support for
soldiers and their families. Raise awareness of the issues that are
decimating military families.
You don't need to commit a lot of time or resources to help us
either. Sometimes something as simple as a cup of coffee and a friendly
ear can make the difference for a military spouse that's on the edge.
Babysit for an hour so a military spouse can take some time off. Small
gestures are huge to a military spouse that is feeling isolated,
hopeless, or overwhelmed. Reach out to a military spouse who may not
be capable of reaching out for help. Just be there. After the yellow
ribbons come down, after the homecoming ceremony is over. Be there.
That's when we really need you
The military is trying to change the stigma associated with asking
for help so that soldiers will be more willing to ask for the help that
they need. Military families also traditionally serve and suffer in
silence but we also have to speak up about the unprecedented struggles
military families are dealing with as a result of 8 years of war. When
the people of this country pull together they are unstoppable, and we
need that strength to win the battle on the home front- the battle to
save military families.
Thank you,
Indie Army Wife
Links to organizations that help our troops, vets and military families
For pending legislation/petitions etc check out the "Take Action" section of Http://www.iava.org
Some of the organizations that are working to help military families are:
http://www.notalone.com- Not
Alone provides online support groups run by therapists as well as
personal stories of soldiers and military spouses who are dealing with
combat related stress and injuries
http://www.supportyourvet.org
- GREAT resource for civilians who would like to get involved. Articles
and info on how to get involved, how to talk to vets and their
families, and how to help
http://bluestarfam.org/... works directly with military families to provide immediate support and to influence legislation
http://www.fisherhouse.org - works to help families who are caring for injured soldiers or sick children
http://www.iava.org - works tirelessly to pass legislation to help soldiers and their families
http://www.giveanhour.org -
Therapists volunteer to provide free mental health counseling for
soldiers and family members. This is a critical resource that we need.
Again, thank you to all of you who want to help!!!
